My heart screams

Today is one of those days when I feel absolutely pointless. Feels like what I do is not important…days go by filled with to-do lists of not importance. Like my existence is absolutely meaningless…. like all of it just doesn’t matter. Going places..meeting people…learning things…what for? It all doesn’t matter…feel empty
I keep coming across people who are so passionate about what they do. Hearing  their stories of failure and success…at least they try. They are trying to do something. And I compare myself and feel like a complete loser. I’m stuck… I dislike what I do…yet I don’t know what I can do instead….I’m stuck not know what decision to make…stay here or move back home… I’m stuck and paralyzed with not knowing what to do next….and so days fly by like crazy…
Sometimes I wish for something to happen so it’ll force me to make a decision.
I feel like I did everything wrong…. because otherwise I would not sit here and cry and feel sorry for myself. I guess it’s not always takes a tragedy to hit the rock bottom. It’s just one of those days…
I will hug myself and will keep on hoping that one day I’ll grow into an awesome human.